Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

How did the pen name “Utsudo” (鬱兔) come about?Utsudo’s first pen name was just one character: 鬱 (“melancholy”). An editor at her second publisher suggested using at least two characters, because searching for 鬱 only brought up results about depression. So she added her college nickname, “Rabbit” (兔), and became 鬱兔 — Utsudo.

A belated Chapter 1: the story of my pen name

　　Yes, I can already feel your silent stares at such a basic question — why am I only bringing this up in chapter 34?

　　Okay, I’ll answer you right now!

　　Because I forgot, hahaha — (gets kicked)

　　It came up at my last sharing session, and since this column is a memoir, I figured it should be on record. So consider this a belated Chapter 1 XDD

　　Honestly, I barely remember my very first pen names. They were either super cringey or overly pretty, decorated with sparkly, showy symbols. They’re so embarrassing that even if I remembered them I wouldn’t tell you — so we’re skipping generation one!

My first pen name was just “鬱”

　　Let’s jump straight to the name closest to today’s 鬱兔.
　　At first it was only the single character 鬱. That was around the time I’d been accepted to university and started writing stories while waiting for freshman orientation…

　　I began my first full-length novel and had finished about a volume’s worth. I really wanted to share it, so I picked a random fiction platform and started posting.

　　I remember updating diligently every day, but after about a week my view count was still in the single digits — while other people posted one or two chapters and got several times more. Boo hoo.

　　Discouraged, I wondered if I was the only one who thought my story was good. So I went back to 冒險者天堂 (“Adventurers’ Paradise”), one of the popular fiction-posting sites at the time, and when it asked for a pen name, I typed a single character without hesitation: 鬱.

　　Later, a story I’d posted online was accepted by a publisher — still under just 鬱 (though that publisher never ended up releasing the series; that’s another story). A friend asked me, “Your pen name has so many strokes — how are you going to sign autographs?”

　　Hearing that, my feelings in the moment were —

　　Damn! Why didn’t I think of that! My hand is going to fall off!

　　“…Can I use a stamp?” I asked.

　　My friend gave me a speechless look. “Your editor would smack you. And readers would roast you online…”

　　“Sorry, my bad.”

　　After sincerely apologizing to my hand, I started working out how to sign my pen name and settled on an illegible scrawl. I meant it as a stopgap, but I’ve just kept using it ever since… Still, I believe it will evolve someday (clenches fist)

　　Although six years after that resolution, it still hasn’t evolved (covers face)

　　In the end, that series was never published by that publisher, so all my worrying about book signings was for nothing XD

Adding “兔” to become 鬱兔

　　So how did it become today’s 鬱兔?

　　When I signed with my second publisher, the editor suggested a pen name of at least two characters. I really wanted to keep my cool (?) one-character name — so stylish! Plenty of clueless kids assumed I was a guy, which was great for my ego (totally kidding)

　　Editor: “Open Google right now and type in 鬱. You’ll see.”

　　Skeptical, I searched — and the results were things like “depression,” “bipolar disorder,” “Do I have depression?”, “So depressed I can’t get a girlfriend” and “鬱 is so hard to write.” Only then did I appreciate how thoughtful my editor had been.

　　PS: I just googled it, and the first result was the Ministry of Education dictionary.

　　Looks like this character stumps a lot of people XDDD

　　So I agreed with my editor and decided to make my pen name longer.

　　But I couldn’t think of what to add. Then I remembered that, out of my many nicknames, in college I somehow ended up being called “Rabbit” (a friend later explained it was because I looked innocent, and my contact lenses made my eyes red). So I added 兔, “rabbit,” and that’s how I became 鬱兔 XD

　　I really like this name. It makes me picture a light-blue rabbit, hehe — so in games I like to use the ID “水藍兔子” (Light Blue Rabbit). Maybe you’ve run into me~

　　But honestly, I like cats more than rabbits >////<

　　An editor once called me 鬱貓 (“Melancholy Cat”) by mistake — it instantly felt three times more depressing (X

　　＊　＊

　　         Does your pen name have a story of its own >w<?

FAQ

Further reading (in Chinese)

• Previous: #33 — On giving talks
• Next: #35 — Highlights from my sharing session
• Start from the beginning: #01 — Utsudo’s debut
• Column introduction
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.