Are writers the same in private as their public image?Not necessarily. When giving talks or dealing with publishers and editors, Utsudo shows a professional, confident “public me.” But in private she’s always saying “ugh, what a hassle” — a goofy chuunibyou fujoshi. The scheming and tsundere characters she writes are actually all part of herself.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

People’s stereotypes of writers

　　I’m sure you all understand thata professional title affects a person’s image.

　　For example, entrepreneurs usually come across as sharp, clear-headed and clever; dancers as confident, physically graceful, reserved and wise; teachers as wise, gentle and living simple lives… and of course “professional” is the basic attribute.

　　Likewise, when people think of writers, the images are much the same — professional, perceptive, elegant, better than most at capturing life and experience, writing late into the night by lamplight, sipping coffee, focused on composing meaningful words to share with the world.

　　But professionals in every field are really just“human”。

　　It’s like the notion that pop idols never need to eat, drink or use the bathroom.

　　But they’re human! Of course they eat, drink and use the bathroom —they’re not Hatsune Miku!!

　　The so-called “public mask” is actually quite different from the real self. If you know any professionals up close, you’ll find that when they’re with friends and family, the silly, goofy way they act iscompletely different。

　　from their image on TV or in the news. After all, in front of friends and family they let their guard down — that’s when their true nature shows!

The public image and the real me

　　For example, when I give talks, deal with publishers or contact editors, it’s the “public me” handling it (unless we later become close friends). I have to appear professional, confident and convincing so people feel I’m reliable.

　　But friends who arereally closeto me in private all know that the real me only resembles the “public me” a little when I’m “being a quiet pretty boy (?)” — in short, when I’m not talking.

　　Yes, I’m the kind of person who’s been told “you seem pretty classy when you’re not talking.”

　　After all, the real me is always saying things like “Ugh, what a hassle.”, “I don’t know, don’t ask me”, “Give Bunny gold coins O\\w\\O (to be clear, this is just a catchphrase — I’ve never actually asked anyone for money, except asking my parents for allowance XDDD)”, “Fu~ fufufufu~”, “Are you itching for a beating???”, “What, you wanna fight ˋ皿ˊ!!!” — alazy chuunibyou fujoshiwho in a group is the one saying random nonsense for others to roast, steering the (fun) mood.

　　To put it nicely, I’m innocent and lively; to put it bluntly, I’m a brat. But I only act spoiled and whiny with people I’m truly close to and trust — and when I get pesky, I’m completely out of control (?

　　People who don’t know me think I’m super feminine, but I onlylookvirtuous and gentle. Actually I’m totally the scheming type. My room is often a mess, and I don’t like cooking (I hate washing pots — could the ingredients please cook themselves and wash the pot while they’re at it?). My closet has a bunch of going-out clothes I bought because they were cute, but at home I rotate the same few outfits. I only dress up to go out with friends, and only wear makeup for photos to “fool” people or for important occasions (because removing makeup is such a hassle, plus I have to wear contacts and my eyes get dry ˊ3ˋ)

　　Although my soul has somewhat violent tendencies, my real-life attack power is very weak. Basically it’s all talk — flamethrowers, robbing banks, ruling the world or conquering the universe — but I’d never actually do it.

　I mean, I often can’t even twist open a bottle cap, okay!!!

　　…Huh, why do I feel like once this post goes out, myimagewill be gone???

My characters are part of me too

　　Creations reflect personality. My writing often features scheming characters, characters whose personalities change dramatically, goofballs, tsunderes and so on — they’re actually all part of “me.”

　　Compared with the public me, they’re imperfect and full of flaws, but I still love these characters — after all, they’re closer to the real me than the public persona is (saying that sounds a bit narcissistic)!

　　However,as a writer, I still want to keep the “public me” and the “real me” separate — a professional image is still necessary. I can’t be acting all chuunibyou during a talk or when contacting a publisher — I might get kicked out as a brat.

　　I’ll save the chuunibyou side for those of you who know the real me!

　　Hmm~ I feel like I’ll secretly hide this post later XDDDDD

FAQ

Further reading (in Chinese)

• Previous: #54 (in Chinese)
• Next: #56 (in Chinese)
• Start from the beginning: #01 — Utsudo’s debut
• Column introduction
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.

📚 More on this topic: Writing Mindset & a Writer’s Life: Ghost Island Column Guide