When you feel lost as a writer, how do you rediscover why you started? Utsudo began writing because she read wonderful stories and wanted to experience different lives in imaginary worlds. She notes that once creativity meets commerce, some change is inevitable. But if you lose yourself by caring too much about outside voices and opinions, slow down and remember the you who was completely absorbed in a story and moved by its ups and downs. Writing can be part of your life, and you decide how big a part.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

Thinking back, I wanted to write because I’d read so many great works. I was amazed that anyone could write such wonderful stories, and I wanted to try too. I longed to awaken the characters in my heart, let them shine on stage, and record their stories from the sidelines.

I wanted to record the worlds they experienced and the things they loved, and to take part in their lives—joy or sorrow—struggling and growing alongside them, becoming a better person and feeling proud of them.

Scene by scene, until I finally typed END, I’d look back at all those words, like the life journeys these characters had accumulated. What an incredible thing. I couldn’t believe I’d actually done it.

I think the feeling in that moment is priceless.

I’ve loved wild imagination since childhood

Since I was little, I loved reading and imagining all kinds of possibilities: What if aliens suddenly invaded Earth? What if I were transported to another world? What if I weren’t human? What if I could understand plants and animals?

All sorts of ideas would surface whenever I spaced out, and I’d giggle to myself, completely content.

But in reality I’m just an ordinary person with a head full of fantasies. The easiest way to satisfy them is probably to become that person in an imaginary world.

If you want to experience a certain life or adventure, or a certain profession, fire up your imagination, connect those wishes to a story, and finish one work after another. If it gets recognized online or published, and you hold the physical book in your hands, it’s as if that “adventure” came true. It’s incredibly fulfilling.

After finishing one work, you want to write more

Once you’ve finished one, you can’t wait to write and experience more. Is it the same for those of you who love writing—or starting new projects (?)?

Don’t tell me you frantically start stories and then abandon them. Those characters might band together and come protest one day (X

When lost, return to why you started writing

We’re all people who love creating and fantasizing. Once commerce gets involved, some things inevitably change. But the urge to create the stories in our hearts won’t change, no matter what we go through—right?

If it has, maybe it’s time to slow down and revisit where you began.

I’ve lost my way many times. But while wavering on the edge of giving up, I always decided to return to where I began and find the self who first persisted. If you too are lost in this exhausting, hopeless world, maybe slow down and have a deep conversation with yourself. Fight or flee—as long as you don’t regret it.

We only live once, yet we keep falling into confusion and struggle, then see clearly, and finally grow.

Choosing and letting go are part of life. Writing can be part of your life, but not all of it, and you can decide how big a part it is. The words we record while experiencing life are stories too.

No story is worth more than another

I believe most people start creating from their own hearts. We love stories, love sharing them, and work hard to be seen by more people. But if you care so much about outside voices or opinions that you lose sight of why you started, or even fall into self-doubt, that would be a real shame.

Everyone has a story. No story is noble or lowly; it only depends on how you see it.

But please never forget the you who concentrated wholeheartedly on writing this story and was deeply moved by its ups and downs. That you is truly radiant.

FAQ

Further reading

• Previous: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #114: On Co-Writing—Should You Write a Novel with Someone Else?
• Start from the beginning: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #01: Utsudo’s Debut — A Road to the Dream Covered in Frost
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.