Why does reliability matter when choosing someone to work with? Utsudo has always valued personal ties, and when starting a new project she first thinks of friends with the right skills. But when she commissioned a friend to build a website, he made little progress and finally asked her to find someone else, citing how he was feeling. She also recalled being let down by him years earlier when she asked for help. Her lesson: before collaborating, find out whether someone is dependable—whether they might suddenly vanish or easily back out of promises. Friendship doesn’t equal reliability.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

Is goodwill worth more than money?

This is something I’ve deeply realized recently.

I used to believe goodwill mattered more than money. No matter what, if someone had ever been kind to me, I’d never forget it and would always be grateful. Rather than earning more money, I’d prefer to make friends of good character who are worth getting close to.

I also believe friendship is for life. I dream of still being able to go singing karaoke and hiking with a few good friends when I’m old. So with people I think are worth getting close to, I work hard at the relationship and reach out proactively.

Commissioning a friend, but no progress

So whenever I start a project, the first thing I think of is whether any friends around me have the relevant skills. This time, with that mindset, I approached a friend who was my classmate for ten years. He can build websites and has real artistic talent, and since we grew up together, I trusted him and was willing to pay him well.

But I found he wasn’t taking it to heart. After all that time, the website had barely progressed, let alone been polished.

At a recent meeting, he said he hadn’t been doing well physically or mentally lately. After the meeting I reached out to check on him, only for him to use that as a reason to ask me to find someone else. He’d mentioned before that coworkers easily affected his mood at work, putting him under a lot of stress, so to make things easier for him, I smiled and said it was fine, I’d find someone else.

But the more I thought about it, the more unhappy I felt, because it reminded me of years ago. While I was going abroad, I asked him to bring meals to my father, who was recovering at home. He agreed—then just three hours before my flight, he told me it wasn’t convenient and to find someone else. I was angry and panicked at the time and couldn’t help making a few snide remarks, and we didn’t talk for a while after that.

The more I thought, the more something felt off. Every time I see him he looks exhausted and says, “Mercury’s in retrograde this year,” but it seems like he’s in retrograde every year (?). He uses bad luck as an excuse for things not going well—why not reflect on why things always go wrong for him?

Stuck in the same loop of problems

When someone keeps facing the same loop of problems, instead of blaming the environment, it’s better to reflect on whether the problem really comes from outside or is self-inflicted.

Bad moods are unavoidable, and life’s ups and downs always affect how we feel. I also understand that many things in life are beyond our control. But we have to learn to grow, not use our mood as a shield, always asking others to understand while ignoring our promises. That feels really bad.

Before collaborating, check whether the person is reliable

I don’t think I’ll want to invite someone like this to collaborate again. Even after agreeing, he casually acts like it never happened, treating others’ trust like a game. We’re still friends, but I feel there’s a knot in my heart now… Maybe I saw him as a close friend, but he didn’t feel the same.

Let this be a warning to anyone who wants to work with others: always find out whether the other person is “reliable”—whether they might suddenly disappear or use excuses to back out of promises. I think this is a very important consideration, second only to character. Let’s all take it to heart.

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Further reading

• Previous: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #251: The Power of Loners
• Start from the beginning: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #01: Utsudo’s Debut — A Road to the Dream Covered in Frost
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.