Are creators who are good at socializing really more likely to succeed? After running her own media channels, Utsudo found that people who enjoy connecting with peers and fans often succeed faster, though they also invest lots of time in it. She isn’t keen on socializing herself and has often let connections fade after going too long without reaching out. She envies those who draw energy from interacting with others, but reminds us it’s fine not to be good at it: approaching others with humility and kindness is the first step toward meaningful connection.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

A small realization from running my own media

This is a small realization I had while running my own media.

Here’s how it started: when I livestream, fellow streamers sometimes drop by to watch and chat. At first I didn’t think much of it, but gradually I realized it wasn’t as simple as I thought—they weren’t just visiting; they also hoped I’d visit back or send viewers their way.

It’s a bit like leaving a comment under someone’s post and hoping they’ll comment back—a mutual-visit idea. But personally I don’t really go for it and find it a waste of time (X

People who enjoy connecting succeed faster

But later I noticed that people who enjoy interacting with everyone always seem to succeed faster, though they spend a lot of time engaging with peers and fans. If you naturally love interacting, you’ll be in your element; for people who aren’t good at socializing, it’s a real headache.

Recently I met a streamer who happened to pass by my work stream and dropped in. She’s very warm and hospitable, always generous with her connections and eager to recommend useful tools. Because of her, I changed my mind—there really are people that big-hearted and full of goodwill.

I usually keep to myself and do my own thing, but I still visit her stream now and then. She’s probably the streamer I’ve most enjoyed visiting XD

Though I’ve been busy lately and haven’t dropped by in a long time (covers face)

Not good at socializing, so connections just fade

Frankly, I’m not someone who loves socializing. I tell myself to interact more, but sometimes I don’t have the energy and just want to hide in my familiar space. I even feel a bit insecure; interacting with people sometimes feels awkward, and I assume they’re probably not that interested in me, so I give up.

Then after neglecting it for a while, when I suddenly think I should visit, I feel it’s been too long and going now would be even more awkward, so it just fizzles out.

Thinking about it, quite a few connections have ended this way QQ

Some might say connections that break weren’t important and can be let go. I used to think so too. If I had an unpleasant experience with someone or felt they weren’t friend material, I’d decisively block or delete them.

People have many sides

But over the years, I’ve realized people have many sides. Sometimes what you can’t understand is simply something you “haven’t encountered.” Sometimes an unpleasant interaction isn’t because someone did something terrible, but because of a “misunderstanding” or “reading too much into it,” and giving up on communication wastes a chance to clear the air.

Maybe I’m still not good at handling relationships. I still have to keep learning.

It’s okay if you’re not good at connecting

By the way, I really envy people who can treat interacting with others as a source of energy. If you can treat people so cheerfully and kindly and feel truly happy doing it, you can probably live more smoothly and freely in today’s society.

But even if you and I aren’t good at connecting, that’s okay. Trying to understand others with a humble, kind heart is the first step toward a good connection. No need to rush or panic—just improve a little every day.

FAQ

Further reading

• Previous: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #176: Original Works vs Fan Works—Differences and Advantages
• Start from the beginning: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #01: Utsudo’s Debut — A Road to the Dream Covered in Frost
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.