Where is Utsudo’s next book, and why hasn’t she published in print for years? After receiving a Ministry of Culture grant, Utsudo decided to build up a body of work first. But after joining an agency—amid a tough book market, cautious publishers, and a favorite publisher that won’t take agency-represented authors—she hasn’t published a print book in several years. This year she still released several e-books and an audio drama, and raised her visibility through self-media, landing various non-fiction collaborations, yet she feels unsure about her identity. She stresses she keeps writing fiction—about five books so far this year—and hopes to publish a new book soon.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

After the grant, I chose to build up my work first

As the title says: ever since I received the Ministry of Culture grant two years ago, I decided not to submit my works yet but to build up a stockpile. Once the grant-funded work was released, I expected a wave of interest, and then I could hand manuscripts to publishers who came asking.

—Turns out I was dreaming.

Back then, I never guessed I’d join an agency, or that finding publishers for my manuscripts would be harder than I thought. The book market is tough, and publishers are more cautious. The publishers I wanted wouldn’t take me, and the ones that wanted my manuscripts weren’t ones I wanted to join.

I had a chance to work with a publisher I’d long admired, but because I’d joined an agency, it fell through QQ

The pressure of not publishing a print book for years

It’s been several years since I published a print book. As a professional author, honestly, the psychological pressure is considerable.

At the start of this year, I told my agency I hoped to publish two books this year. Now it’s almost year-end and there’s still no news QQ

This year I did release e-book editions of the 《御宅魔法師》 series, 《灰姑娘的玻璃舞鞋》 and 《阿爾發八號》, an audio drama of 《廢棄樂園的歐菈公主》, and several talks. Over the past two years I also printed the 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 essays as books. But I still really want to publish print books with a publisher or sell film and TV rights.

In this era, there’s no need to chase print publishing too hard. But maybe because I started in print, I still have a certain attachment to “print books.” Passing a publisher’s review and getting published just feels different.

In the end, it’s just a sentimental attachment.

Seeing other authors’ progress

This is the Year of the Rabbit, and everyone said I’d make great strides this year. But in reality not much has changed, and my self-media numbers are mediocre. I’m a bit frustrated—what have I been doing this year? I’m busy every day; am I just spinning my wheels?

Just as I fell into self-doubt, I happened to see other authors’ progress: some had works adapted into films, some had new books selling well, some had publishers inviting them to write. I envied them all.

These days I do receive inquiries and collaboration offers, but most are for things other than fiction. The only novel offer came from a Hong Kong company that sent a pile of settings and the general direction. I kept wondering whether they wanted an “author” or a “writer for hire.”

There’s also an audio drama script offer, though its status is unclear, and I haven’t promoted the Utsudo chatbot yet.

Am I still a novelist?

I can’t help wondering: am I a novelist, or am I gradually becoming something else?

Is this change good or bad?

The one thing I can confirm is that through self-media, I’ve pushed my visibility further than I ever expected—though not quite where I envisioned. I marvel at the power of self-media: even without much traffic, it made me “visible” among so many authors. Whether that’s because this circle is small or I happened to hit the right audience, I don’t know.

But I still hope more people see my “works”—instead, it’s me as a person who got noticed. I can’t help asking: does the way I’m running things match the direction my heart wants?

Lately, through connections, I’ve also started writing company profiles for firms, and next year I may start writing a local gazetteer for a certain region. I’m a bit confused: am I a novelist, or have I become a professional writer? Wait—doesn’t a professional writer’s work include fiction anyway?

Honestly, my positioning feels a bit blurry right now. To put it nicely, I have lots of potential directions; to put it bluntly, I’ve drifted a bit off the novelist track.

I feel a little lost—what am I doing? Doing different things is fun, and I don’t resist it. I just wonder: do I still count as a novelist?

I haven’t given up on fiction

But let me be clear: I keep writing fiction. I have absolutely not given up on this path. From the start of this year through October, I’ve written about five books. So I don’t think I’ve stopped moving. It’s just that print publishing may have to wait a bit longer.

I really hope I can publish a new book next year. Please don’t forget me QQ

FAQ

Further reading

• Previous: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #210: Troubles Shouldn’t Be Compared
• Start from the beginning: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #01: Utsudo’s Debut — A Road to the Dream Covered in Frost
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.