When dreams collide with reality, how should we view a child’s dream? After a Japanese class, Utsudo met a first-year high school girl who loved drawing. She wanted to encourage her to chase her dream—until she learned that the girl’s single mother was raising two daughters alone under hard financial circumstances, and she began to hesitate. Reflecting, she realized she could persist partly because her own family helped her early on. Under the pressure of reality, dreams are fragile. She simply hopes the girl will better understand her mother, and wishes them both well through hard times.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

Meeting a girl who wants to draw after Japanese class

That day I went to teach a Japanese class.

A friend of one of my students came by with her daughter, said hello, and then found a seat elsewhere to rest. It seemed she had something to discuss with my student.

After class, my student went over to chat with the mother and daughter and introduced me. She mentioned that the girl, a first-year high school student, seemed to love drawing, and asked whether I had any advice for her.

As someone who loves brainwashing—no, I mean guiding confused young people—of course I was happy to help.

So I sat down across from them. Apart from saying hello at first, the girl kept her head down almost the whole time, doodling on a blank A4 sheet with a blue ballpoint pen, drawing one figure after another. You could tell she really loved drawing.

Her mother said her daughter could draw all day without any trouble. I was really happy to hear that. To have such a passion for creating at her age—she surely had a good chance of making it someday.

A mother crushed by reality

But as we talked and I learned more about their situation, I hesitated more and more.

Their family was struggling. The parents had divorced, and the mother, who has a mild disability, was raising her two daughters alone. The father paid no child support at all. The mother seemed to be earning a living through online sales, and had mortgaged the house for emergencies.

Yet despite the hardship, this remarkable mother kept her promise: if her elder daughter got into a good school, she would buy her a drawing tablet.

Her mother really hoped she would study hard and become a lawyer or doctor and have a bright future. But the girl loved drawing too much and was often caught drawing instead of studying. Her grades were about average, which made her mother anxious.

I could tell this mother had placed all her hopes on her elder daughter. But perhaps because she was so protected, the girl seemed completely unaware of her family’s situation and kept saying overly naive things, which her mother couldn’t bring herself to scold.

From supporting her dream to reminding her of reality

All I can say is that she didn’t yet know how harsh the world is, nor understand her mother’s hardship (though her mother may not have wanted to reveal it). So I went from supporting her dream to repeatedly stressing that while there are many opportunities now, it’s also very hard. I talked a little about how I got here, and suggested they might agree that as long as she kept up her grades to a certain level, she’d be allowed to draw.

But I don’t know if that helped. Maybe I didn’t say it well QQ

When we parted, the girl waved at me warmly, but I noticed her mother had a stern face and wouldn’t look at me, let alone say a polite goodbye.

Dreams and reality: I was naive too

In that moment I realized that maybe I had no right to lecture that girl. I was naive too.

Thinking about it, if my family hadn’t been reasonably well off and helped me at the start, I probably couldn’t have persisted this far. Under the pressure of reality, dreams are laughably fragile. In an environment like this, the poor have no room to dream.

I couldn’t bear to burst the girl’s bubble, and I think her mother couldn’t either. After all, she’s her beloved daughter. However hard things are, she wants her to have a good life. And because her own life is so hard, she doesn’t want her daughter to go through the same, which is why she works so hard to shoulder the household alone.

But even realizing this, facing the mother’s cold expression, I couldn’t say a word. I could only watch them walk away.

I don’t know when the girl will discover how cruel reality can be. But if possible, I hope she’ll grow more mature, understand her mother’s hard work better, and even share her burden. As for her dream, I know she has a long way to go. All I can do is offer some direction and advice. If she ever asks me for help, I’ll do my best.

In any case, I wish them well, and hope they get through this low point toward a bright future.

FAQ

Further reading

• Previous: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #126: Standalone or Series—Which Is Better?
• Start from the beginning: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #01: Utsudo’s Debut — A Road to the Dream Covered in Frost
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.