How did a Taiwanese writer feel when the war between Russia and Ukraine broke out? Utsudo wrote this on the second day of the war between Ukraine and Russia. She felt an unprecedented sense of crisis—grieving for the victims in Ukraine while worrying about Taiwan’s own situation—and looked back on the history and identity of this land. She writes of her love for the island and its people, and prays for Ukraine.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

The second day of the war between Russia and Ukraine

As I write this, it’s the second day of the war between Ukraine and Russia.

War has never stopped on this planet, but this time I feel a sense of crisis like never before.

Russia and Ukraine’s relationship is somewhat like the one between my country and our neighbor, which is probably why it feels especially frightening. Since childhood—and from my elders even before that—I’ve heard of our neighbor’s verbal attacks and military intimidation. But so many years have passed with the status quo intact that we’ve gotten used to the threat and assumed that day would never come.

Many people may still be oblivious, thinking war is far away from us. But after seeing these reports, I think they’ll be startled to realize that we too could face the threat of war.

Lately I’ve noticed planes flying over more and more often. This morning about eight passed in ten minutes, and the low engine roar made me a bit anxious.

I live far from the airport, but there’s a base in the nearby outskirts. A friend said it’s probably more frequent drills, or planes from other nearby areas, so there’s no need to worry too much.

Still, I felt unsettled today. I was preparing for tomorrow’s livestream, but my mind was on the battlefield under a hail of bullets. In the end I searched the Ukraine tag and saw photos and videos filled with war and families torn apart, and my eyes welled up.

Partly I felt sad for them, but at the same time I worried about my own country’s situation.

The lasting hardships war leaves behind

I once heard that once a war starts, it goes on for a long time. Never mind fleeing and shortages during the war—the frightening part is that survivors then face all kinds of hardships: regime change, poverty and disease, inflation and social unrest, losing the freedoms they took for granted.

Looking back at Taiwan’s history

Since I started studying my country’s history in depth, I’ve found that legally speaking, we have never belonged to anyone. After Japan surrendered and signed the Treaty of San Francisco, the United States regarded Taiwan and Penghu as territory of the victorious Allies, entrusted to Taiwan’s current government to “administer.” Yet no U.S. president has ever declared that administration over.

And ties with our neighbor were severed as early as the Treaty of Shimonoseki. After its defeat, Japan only renounced all rights, titles and claims to Taiwan and Penghu; there was no mention of “returning” them.

Emotionally speaking, our ways of thinking and social climates are different after all, aren’t they?

So who do we actually belong to?

We are confused, having lived through much deliberate political whitewashing that has blurred historical truth and left younger generations unsure of their own identity. Over these four hundred years, our ancestors came from different peoples, living, fighting and cooperating on this land for a period neither long nor short.

Diversity and fusion, inclusiveness, and the courage to speak up—that is the portrait of our land. And it’s this unique history that created such a special culture.

Even having written this far, I still don’t know where we’re headed. In the end, we’re just a speck of dust in the long history of humankind. But history has always been told by the strong. Who knows the unknown blood and tears? How much truth is hidden behind greed and plunder?

Facing such harsh oppression, what can we do?

Loving this land deeply

No matter what, I deeply love the land beneath my feet and the people who live on this island with me. Whatever hardships we face, let’s get through them hand in hand.

Tonight, as I write, I pray to God to protect the people suffering in Ukraine.

Countries around the world are lending a hand, a sign that times have changed. We live in a world with more love and compassion. I hope everything turns out well.

FAQ

Further reading

• Previous: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #128: What Is a Novelist’s Worth?
• Start from the beginning: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #01: Utsudo’s Debut — A Road to the Dream Covered in Frost
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.