When losses outweigh what we have, what can we still hold on to? After finishing a book, Utsudo took Professor Wen, who had advised her on it, to dinner to thank him. Before they parted, the professor suggested a photo, sighing that his memory was failing with age and he feared forgetting people’s faces. It made Utsudo realize that past a certain age, people begin to lose more than they gain. Her answer: keep something you love, take photos more often, and care more for the people around you.

Translated from Utsudo’s original Chinese column.

A thank-you dinner with Professor Wen

This happened after I finished a certain book.

Because of some related questions, I’d invited Professor Wen to serve as an adviser. When the book was done, I wanted to have dinner together and thank him in person.

Besides Professor Wen, one other person joined us: Ms. Tsai, my homeroom teacher from junior high. I’d met the professor through her introduction.

As for my story with Ms. Tsai, I’ll save that for another time.

Eyes that sparkle when talking about what you love

Professor Wen struck me as someone with true scholarly bearing—upright and passionate. During dinner, Ms. Tsai and I were mostly listeners while he talked on and on about his recent research and experiences.

You could tell how passionate he is about his academic research. Although he’s getting on in years, the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about what he loves moved me.

I wondered: if I keep delving into fiction and create more and more works, decades from now, when I talk about the field I’ve devoted my life to, will I still be as passionate and tireless as he is?

Or will the future me have changed?

And what kind of change would that be?

These thoughts couldn’t help surfacing in my mind.

If you can find something worth loving for a lifetime, keep at it come rain or shine, and earn a place in that field, I think that must be a very happy thing!

The professor asked for a photo

After the meal, we kept talking. Finally, as we were about to part, Professor Wen said he’d like to take a photo to remember the occasion.

I was actually a bit surprised, because it’s usually the younger generation who asks for photos (sometimes for social media). Of all the elders I’ve visited, he was one of the few who wanted a photo on his own initiative XD

Professor Wen said with a sigh: “At my age, my memory isn’t good. The last time I saw someone was often long ago, and sometimes I even forget what they looked like. Several friends have passed away this year, and when I looked back, our last photos together were from over a decade ago. So now I take photos every time we get together.”

Hearing that, a faint sadness rose in my heart.

When losses outweigh what we have

I’d heard that after a certain age, people begin to “lose more than they gain,” so they grow more afraid of loneliness and unconsciously try to hold on to the few things they still have. I’d rarely had the chance to talk about this with someone older, so it left a deep impression.

We’re still young. We lose things now and then, but mostly we “gain more than we lose”—expanding our work, meeting new friends, learning new things. Our world keeps expanding.

Keep learning as long as you live. Even when you’re old, you should still have something you love. You may inevitably feel the helplessness of loss—your health, friends and family passing away, gradually stepping back from the front line of work—but if you can keep holding on to something and stay connected to the world, it may ease that loneliness.

Life is a one-way road. You can only move forward, and all you can ask is to have no regrets.

But I want to take photos more often, to keep as mementos!

And I want to care more for the people around me. Even if they’re just passing through, the memories we leave in our intersecting lives, joyful or sad, are worth treasuring for a lifetime.

FAQ

Further reading

• Previous: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #137: Writing Heals You and Builds Your Future
• Start from the beginning: Hey! I Heard You’re a Writer on Ghost Island #01: Utsudo’s Debut — A Road to the Dream Covered in Frost
• Utsudo’s books

About the author

Utsudo is a Taiwanese light novelist and novelist VTuber with more than ten years in the industry and 40 commercially published print books. Her novel 《遺失的情書》 received a 2022 Ministry of Culture youth creative award. The 《嘿！聽說妳在鬼島當作家》 series records her experiences as a novelist in Taiwan.